shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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