You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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