He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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