I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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