It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize