Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize