8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize