Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize