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Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
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