Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (616)

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.

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  (616): We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that. http://tfl.nu/hsrb
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  Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado

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  (616): Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado http://tfl.nu/cd6c
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (205)
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  i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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  (616): i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm. http://tfl.nu/enq5
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  which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!

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  (616): which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?! http://tfl.nu/hp73
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  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
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  Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

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  I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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  (616): Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries? (1-616): I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex. http://tfl.nu/oahp
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (194)
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  if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

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  is that what this stuff is?

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  (810): if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you. (616): is that what this stuff is? http://tfl.nu/just
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (308)
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  I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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  (616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y
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  Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you

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  (616): Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you http://tfl.nu/p2n8
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.

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  (616): Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing. http://tfl.nu/c8zk
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  We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"

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  (616): We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!" http://tfl.nu/th1o
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  Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom

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  (616): Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom http://tfl.nu/uno6
  Replies (8) Good night (1266) Bad night (398)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (423)
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  We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.

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  (616): We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots. http://tfl.nu/koac
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.

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  (616): Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening. http://tfl.nu/2jna
  Replies (7) Good night (1210) Bad night (441)