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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
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