Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (807)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick http://tfl.nu/2mmx
  Replies (6) Good night (3550) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants http://tfl.nu/ed98
  Replies (12) Good night (1654) Bad night (5566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight? http://tfl.nu/7h08
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever. http://tfl.nu/8cfr
  Replies (23) Good night (5052) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth http://tfl.nu/b4j6
  Replies (18) Good night (6981) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp
  Replies (11) Good night (4960) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature. http://tfl.nu/rbpc
  Replies (47) Good night (6339) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing. http://tfl.nu/a3a6
  Replies (19) Good night (4514) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Just flip the mattress, it erases all

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Done and done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town? (1-807): Just flip the mattress, it erases all (807): Done and done http://tfl.nu/aezq
  Replies (100) Good night (2770) Bad night (7461)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd http://tfl.nu/28g8
  Replies (39) Good night (10807) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/x0os
  Replies (10) Good night (1274) Bad night (3919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order. http://tfl.nu/8dgh
  Replies (9) Good night (820) Bad night (5046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu
  Replies (46) Good night (7205) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth. http://tfl.nu/mppt
  Replies (29) Good night (5364) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt