Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (301)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We using my standards or yours?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad? (443): We using my standards or yours? http://tfl.nu/agac
  Replies (7) Good night (2931) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c http://tfl.nu/a3ua
  Replies (11) Good night (3118) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss. http://tfl.nu/246p
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Define "chronic" masturbator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Define "chronic" masturbator. http://tfl.nu/qw3m
  Replies (14) Good night (1304) Bad night (1430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out. http://tfl.nu/nhkd
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  but she's really nice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (630) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  but u need boobs to get one in the first place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs. (1-301): but u need boobs to get one in the first place. http://tfl.nu/nypm
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude it was a lap dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club (301): Dude it was a lap dance http://tfl.nu/d6y0
  Replies (15) Good night (1428) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  What a good friend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out. (240): What a good friend http://tfl.nu/qs4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1293) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Bea Arthur died yesterday

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You shut your stupid mouth

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Betty White is next, I just know it.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Bea Arthur died yesterday (240): You shut your stupid mouth (301): Betty White is next, I just know it. (240): Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next. http://tfl.nu/xn02
  Replies (20) Good night (1073) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! http://tfl.nu/rxuv
  Replies (9) Good night (960) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm http://tfl.nu/sws3
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ew, did you brush them again?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush (703): Ew, did you brush them again? (301): Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure http://tfl.nu/kwwh
  Replies (7) Good night (467) Bad night (1163)