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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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