Texts From Last Night

Texts from February, 2011

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.

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  (763): Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits. http://tfl.nu/o3v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (2410) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.

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  (240): She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text. http://tfl.nu/g6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (2112) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.

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  (410): You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/0v77
  Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (2739) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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  (707): then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure" http://tfl.nu/54yc
  Replies (15) Good night (1211) Bad night (3736) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.

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  (443): I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand. http://tfl.nu/0bxb
  Replies (10) Good night (2827) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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  (970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv
  Replies (13) Good night (2160) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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  (512): Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay http://tfl.nu/t4tt
  Replies (9) Good night (4322) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (2917) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked

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  (613): I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked http://tfl.nu/dann
  Replies (6) Good night (3460) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

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  (720): I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis http://tfl.nu/ymdq
  Replies (22) Good night (5592) Bad night (795)
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  (818): View more from California

  He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.

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  (818): He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore. http://tfl.nu/r68q
  Replies (14) Good night (3981) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

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  (757): It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah" http://tfl.nu/ebyl
  Replies (14) Good night (5211) Bad night (716)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!

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  (757): then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?! http://tfl.nu/zl1v
  Replies (14) Good night (904) Bad night (3985) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas

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  (801): Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas http://tfl.nu/kcjf
  Replies (6) Good night (3504) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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  (519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81
  Replies (5) Good night (3137) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt