Texts From Last Night

Texts from February, 2011

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

  (720): View more from Colorado

  and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

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  (720): i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944 (720): and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate http://tfl.nu/x2vg
  Replies (15) Good night (5416) Bad night (975)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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  (215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l
  Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.

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  (250): Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party. http://tfl.nu/dnix
  Replies (4) Good night (3239) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8340) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4306) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

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  (309): with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone. http://tfl.nu/1pr2
  Replies (9) Good night (4016) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on

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  (512): I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on http://tfl.nu/0aek
  Replies (12) Good night (4835) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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  (573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc
  Replies (5) Good night (3331) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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  (913): come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up. http://tfl.nu/dd2l
  Replies (10) Good night (4429) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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  (816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj
  Replies (10) Good night (2739) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.

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  (727): whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6fb1
  Replies (6) Good night (839) Bad night (2699) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Her vagina devoured it.

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  (850): What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"? (1-850): Her vagina devoured it. http://tfl.nu/yu5p
  Replies (8) Good night (4935) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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  (845): and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/7djk
  Replies (4) Good night (2490) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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  (818): The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/zk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (1852) Bad night (3466) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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  (772): No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand http://tfl.nu/pktd
  Replies (6) Good night (593) Bad night (2443) Order T-Shirt