Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (216)

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

(440): View more from Ohio

Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

(216): View more from Ohio

Holy shit r u serious? How?

(440): View more from Ohio

Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo

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I just did the classiest thing ever.

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last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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(440): I just did the classiest thing ever. (216): last time you said that you got chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/33ag

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let's bang

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You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.

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(216): let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no. http://tfl.nu/cr4i

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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

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(216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9

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My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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(216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. http://tfl.nu/h0pi

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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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(216): She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here. http://tfl.nu/4k59

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Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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(216): Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know http://tfl.nu/zyp8

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I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

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It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

(216): View more from Ohio

He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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(216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj

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i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.

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(216): i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure. http://tfl.nu/jrrk

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Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?

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(216): Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing? http://tfl.nu/7r44

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ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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(216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u

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Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

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(216): Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened. http://tfl.nu/9qga

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For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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(216): For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan; http://tfl.nu/zp6w

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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong

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(216): We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong http://tfl.nu/i4ch

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As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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(216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm

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Last Night in Ohio (216)

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