pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize