She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
