Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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