are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize