The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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