I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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