Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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