Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize