Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just tell him i said nine months
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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