nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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