That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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