clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My life is pants optional.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize