i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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