I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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