I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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