I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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