If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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