Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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