she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
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Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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