My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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