fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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