I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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