And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need moral support for this bender
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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