You can't motorboat a personality
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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