I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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