So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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