Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize