would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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