They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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