I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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