Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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