He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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