dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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