I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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